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5 Steps to Building an Authentic Emotional Connection with Yourself

Emotions are the pinnacle of the human experience. They shape our internal world, our vibration, our manifestations, our connections, our reality. In many situations that are out of your control, your emotions are often the one thing that does remain in your control (in mindfully responding to life events rather than reacting to them). As one of the most intimate aspects of our being, it is of undeniable importance that we master our emotions, since doing so puts more autonomy in your hands towards a blissful life.

Mastery of anything generally involves a combination of consistency and gradual goals, and mastering our emotional worlds – no matter how fluid – is no different. It isn’t about suppressing certain feelings and forcefully promoting other feelings. It's about being aware of that which doesn't truly belong to you or doesn't truly contribute to your wellbeing, releasing or transmuting those things accordingly, and/or choosing to partake in the thoughts, energetic shifts, or actions (such as the ones in this guide) which do contribute to your sense of joy and wellbeing. This may be easier said than done since emotional disconnection can be tough to overcome for a variety of reasons, but is absolutely worth the consciousness effort. Here is a guide on how to begin a process of committing to a dedicated connection with your emotional self.

1. Be a Compassionate Observer

We cannot establish a conscious relationship with or change something that we don't give attention to. Which is why the first essential step in emotional processing is to stop and make a neutral and nonjudgmental observation about how you are in this moment. Bring your feelings – good or bad – to the light by naming them and being as descriptive as you can about their characteristics and qualities. You may also make a note on how easy or difficult it might be for an emotion to be brought up to the spotlight of your awareness – just be sure to be as uncritical as you can, as if you were a compassionate onlooker to yourself.

2. Place Awareness On Your Heart

Place both hands, one over the other, on your heart center. Or, if you're at a place where you wouldn't feel at ease doing this (or are unable to), you may use one hand or simply bring all your attention onto your heart center. This gesture, especially when applied physically, automatically invites a sense of comfort and self-love, and bridges the previous observations you made with the next step in your moment of self-dedication: conscious breath. Here you may observe additional emotions or additional characteristics about your emotions – all experiences are valid.

3. Practice Directional Breath

This step is a miniature practice in directional breath, where you will breathe into a specific part of your body. This is achieved mainly through your intention to energetically experience what it would be like if a body part other than your lungs could "breathe". In this case, with your hands and/or attention still on your heart, visualize your heart space and all the feelings therein gently expanding and contracting with each breath, and allow/feel the front and back of your upper torso muscles to move in rhythm as well. This is different from simply breathing with your ribcage as you normally might, but it is instead an exercise of your ability to direct the life-force energy within life-giving breath to the parts of your being that may need it most. Do this for as many breaths as your heart needs, or set a goal number each time such as 5 breaths.

4. Take Time to Simply Be

Given that you may have already dropped anything you were doing before you began these steps, this fourth step is the culmination of your honest self-acknowledgement and your attentional/energetic shift within. Allow yourself to simply exist in this moment with the emotions you observed. The state of simply being precedes all identity, all thought, and all action, and is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself/tap back into. It can also help with cultivating a sense of gratitude for the feelings you enjoy experiencing, and thus manifest more of those feelings in your life. Or it can provide a closer sense of discernment of the feelings that don’t align with you (for which you may follow the optional next step below). When you get a hang of taking the time to just be with yourself in this way, the better you become at maintaining this constant internal connection whilst doing other things or being with other people, and the less these external factors can adversely affect your authentic emotional expression.

5. (If needed) Release, Change, Transform

When it comes to emotional energies that don’t fit with your desired sense of personal wellbeing, there are generally three ways of dealing with them: (1) you may release and clear them from yourself, (2) you may transmute internalized underlying patterns into more positive patterns, and/or (3) you may incorporate behaviors or life changes that fulfill your emotional needs better. While the latter option usually occurs through tangible action, the former two options can be effectively catalyzed by subtle (yet empowering) actions such as energetic healing.

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